My youngest son was diagnosed with ADHD at age six. He is now fourteen years old, and I have had quite a journey advocating for his needs. During this time, I began to realize that many of my daughter's struggles may have been related to ADHD. My son was much more recognized and easily diagnosed due to his overt impulsivity and hyperactivity. He does also have inattentiveness, but the previous symptoms are the ones that create havoc in the classroom and demand intervention. For her, she had inattentiveness that I now know is part of her ADHD and that greatly impaired her academic success. Her hyperactivity was not manifested in the same disruptive way as my son's symptoms. Her hyperactivity was really shown in a much more invisible way, in that her thoughts were and are scattered and unfocused many times.
When she was 20 years old -- and I by then was a much more informed mom -- I sent her to an experienced center for ADHD for a diagnosis. There, she was indeed diagnosed with combined ADHD, which included hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattentiveness. Once treated with medication, she called me with excitement: "Mom, I have never been able to sit through a class and then come home and study!"
With everything I know now as a result of my son's diagnosis, I have felt so bad that I was not there for her in her younger years when she needed me to uncover the reasons for her impairments. Unfortunately, neither was the school, although at the time of her elementary school journey, ADHD had certainly been well researched.
Q: Can you explain a little more about how the ADHD presented differently in your daughter? As I alluded previously, my daughter's struggles have been somewhat different than my son's. Research shows that more boys than girls are diagnosed with the combined type of ADHD. Girls more than boys are diagnosed with the inattentive form, which as can be imagined, is not necessarily diagnosed as easily and as early in the journey of education. Friends in high school and college have accused her of being flaky and of being an airhead. She has admitted that she has, as a result, lost friendships. But of course, these were people never willing to understand. For instance, cleaning the apartment on a certain day and time with the other roommates is far too organized. Plus, operating in a group does not work for her. She will do it when she has decided that distraction (or lack of distraction) will allow! Sometimes I try to help her with others' points of view and how her oppositional behavior and distraction at times get in her way. But then I'm not tolerated. So I smile.
Time management is an area that my daughter is always working on and why our family tells her to be at a given event a half hour earlier to ensure on time success! Missing important appointments can happen and now that she is an adult, I struggle with the fact that I can't always help or control that. I have texted her with reminders. One time, she arrived to a doctor appointment one half hour late. She texted me a few minutes later, laughing that it turned out that her appointment was really a half hour later than she thought. Now that she was actually early, she could fill out forms like "normal people," she exclaimed!
Certainly, organizational issues impact her daily life. An example is when she got her "Cinderella" license at age 17. This license could have been transferred into a regular license at age 18. But it took until she was 21 because of six needed forms of identification to accomplish this renewed license. It was not worthy of focus at the time, I guess. But the good news is that she continues to be accident free! I always smile! And as she has grown to understand herself, she has learned to accommodate for her disorganization using several planners and lists to keep her on track.
Q: What about your son? My daughter was able to handle some of the impairments of ADHD through her life. But my son has had many more struggles. The reason would be the degree of severity of symptoms of ADHD that impact him in multiple environments as well as the co-existing disorder of learning differences, which are quite prevalent in children with ADHD. He currently has an IEP, individual education plan, that is in place for special education services. It contains goals to be achieved and interventions to be used to achieve goals at designated times. He receives support in small groups. Again, children with ADHD have average to above average intelligence who many times learn differently but can learn!
Q: What would you like others to understand about ADHD?
As we move forward, the public needs to be more aware of what the diagnosis of ADHD really means. ADHD is a medical diagnosis, a neurobiological diagnosis that can affect performance both in academic and social environments. It appears so invisible and unfortunately many times unaccepted and intolerated. When a child does not pay attention in class or does not do their work for homework, they are many times looked upon as lazy. With education and support on the part of families, they can advocate effectively for their children.
Parents of children with ADHD should take a look at the website, CHADD.org. CHADD is a non-profit organization that provides information. Without a healthy self-esteem, a child really can't move forward and succeed. He needs to know that at least one adult is there and on his side. Those parents who are equipped to handle their children with ADHD in a positive way know that it's important to maintain a "disability perspective," as CHADD declares! Although many times these children have difficulty "shining" in the school environment, they are truly gifted and special. It just sometimes takes some time to discover those hidden talents.
Karen K Lowry, R.N.,M.S.N.,ADHD Coach ,author of The Seventh Inning Sit: A Journey of ADHD, Coordinator of a CHADD support group for ADHD
When she was 20 years old -- and I by then was a much more informed mom -- I sent her to an experienced center for ADHD for a diagnosis. There, she was indeed diagnosed with combined ADHD, which included hyperactivity, impulsivity, and inattentiveness. Once treated with medication, she called me with excitement: "Mom, I have never been able to sit through a class and then come home and study!"
With everything I know now as a result of my son's diagnosis, I have felt so bad that I was not there for her in her younger years when she needed me to uncover the reasons for her impairments. Unfortunately, neither was the school, although at the time of her elementary school journey, ADHD had certainly been well researched.
Q: Can you explain a little more about how the ADHD presented differently in your daughter? As I alluded previously, my daughter's struggles have been somewhat different than my son's. Research shows that more boys than girls are diagnosed with the combined type of ADHD. Girls more than boys are diagnosed with the inattentive form, which as can be imagined, is not necessarily diagnosed as easily and as early in the journey of education. Friends in high school and college have accused her of being flaky and of being an airhead. She has admitted that she has, as a result, lost friendships. But of course, these were people never willing to understand. For instance, cleaning the apartment on a certain day and time with the other roommates is far too organized. Plus, operating in a group does not work for her. She will do it when she has decided that distraction (or lack of distraction) will allow! Sometimes I try to help her with others' points of view and how her oppositional behavior and distraction at times get in her way. But then I'm not tolerated. So I smile.
Time management is an area that my daughter is always working on and why our family tells her to be at a given event a half hour earlier to ensure on time success! Missing important appointments can happen and now that she is an adult, I struggle with the fact that I can't always help or control that. I have texted her with reminders. One time, she arrived to a doctor appointment one half hour late. She texted me a few minutes later, laughing that it turned out that her appointment was really a half hour later than she thought. Now that she was actually early, she could fill out forms like "normal people," she exclaimed!
Certainly, organizational issues impact her daily life. An example is when she got her "Cinderella" license at age 17. This license could have been transferred into a regular license at age 18. But it took until she was 21 because of six needed forms of identification to accomplish this renewed license. It was not worthy of focus at the time, I guess. But the good news is that she continues to be accident free! I always smile! And as she has grown to understand herself, she has learned to accommodate for her disorganization using several planners and lists to keep her on track.
Q: What about your son? My daughter was able to handle some of the impairments of ADHD through her life. But my son has had many more struggles. The reason would be the degree of severity of symptoms of ADHD that impact him in multiple environments as well as the co-existing disorder of learning differences, which are quite prevalent in children with ADHD. He currently has an IEP, individual education plan, that is in place for special education services. It contains goals to be achieved and interventions to be used to achieve goals at designated times. He receives support in small groups. Again, children with ADHD have average to above average intelligence who many times learn differently but can learn!
Q: What would you like others to understand about ADHD?
As we move forward, the public needs to be more aware of what the diagnosis of ADHD really means. ADHD is a medical diagnosis, a neurobiological diagnosis that can affect performance both in academic and social environments. It appears so invisible and unfortunately many times unaccepted and intolerated. When a child does not pay attention in class or does not do their work for homework, they are many times looked upon as lazy. With education and support on the part of families, they can advocate effectively for their children.
Parents of children with ADHD should take a look at the website, CHADD.org. CHADD is a non-profit organization that provides information. Without a healthy self-esteem, a child really can't move forward and succeed. He needs to know that at least one adult is there and on his side. Those parents who are equipped to handle their children with ADHD in a positive way know that it's important to maintain a "disability perspective," as CHADD declares! Although many times these children have difficulty "shining" in the school environment, they are truly gifted and special. It just sometimes takes some time to discover those hidden talents.
Karen K Lowry, R.N.,M.S.N.,ADHD Coach ,author of The Seventh Inning Sit: A Journey of ADHD, Coordinator of a CHADD support group for ADHD
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